Thursday, December 21, 2006

The tooth is out there!

Scene 1: Okalipuram, a tiny hamlet just behind Bangalore Railway Station.

The road is 30 feet wide. The BMTC ( BTS) driver pulls over to the left without any visible strain to pick the commuters. However nobody notices that the Bus is parked with a gap of 7 feet in front of the bus station. All the vehicles in tow of the bus now, kinda gets around and falls in one single line.
The lane discipline is followed with force!

Scene 2:
Somewhere on the ring road: Periphery of Bangalore

All the Lorries on the ring road are well equipped to spew the black smoke and block the visibility on the road to zero. The fellow travelers ripping over the speed limit are suddenly made to reduce the
speed to a safety!

Scene 3:
Somewhere on MG Road

The auto drivers without any care for the lane discipline try to ape the snake on national geographic. This throws few on the road to a tizzy. Some resort to Chappel –asana and some throw the choicest of curses on the auto drivers. This makes all the road users to be on their guard and are careful till their next day-dreaming session.

Scene 4: Banashankari III Stage

There are some people who stay away from buses, lorries and autos or are on extra guard while driving. However can they skip the men and women on hoardings? The moment anybody is about to gather thoughts on traffic woes, there comes a Rakshita staring down at you. The moment you have all pent up emotions starting to explode, a Sonu Nigam will soothe your nerves. Mind you, all these hoardings are strategically located by Corporation authorities.

What’s the common pattern in all the typical scenes above? Hmm that gets me thinking. But it took me a while to figure out this biggest ever under cover operation by the Government to discipline the public of Bangalore.

We, the general public are crying hoarse all the time about the problems facing Bangalore. However we are the villains! The BMTC drivers, lorry and auto drivers association and the Bangalore Corporation along with movie producer association are hand in glove to make BANGALORE, the Garden City.

It takes a hawk-eye to realize this. The truth is out there for you to see or if you are feeling victimized and crying with raised hands, the tooth is out there! Fetch it!

But what about those vehicles which constantly flout the rules and rule the roost? Nooooooooo, they are not with the government and are not out to discipline the general public. I have got them under my scanner and pretty soon will be teleported to a different planet!

Captain, are you there!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My helmet is his pillow!

I am dusky and beautiful. I am a work horse as well. When I am on road, I take on the aggressive mode and move fast. Speed really thrills me!

Hey wait, before you exceed your speed limit, lemme tell you that I bear the number -KA – 17 – J – 3978 (name changed to protect the identity) and I am one-and- only Kinetic Honda.

I am not spoilt by being at the top condition always. More often than not, I run low on my brakes and my partner seems to care no less—should I blame his busy schedule or his ignorance even after two-close-to-death experiences, I don’t know. But what I like most about my partner is he has christened me as “Sameeksha” and he declares it to the whole world. I love it!!

I make my partner just forget the life that waits him at the end of the ride! However I seriously feel that’s the only ‘me-time’ he gets. He gets into an introspective mood, sings loud sometimes and sheds tears and jives as well! Gosh! He should be out of his mind. Why have I become his pillow, I wonder sometimes---lest not to forget he keeps humming the same song for days together. His current favorite seems to be “Kyon aaj kal----

Me being me, I hate all the road hogs like buses, Lorries and four + wheelers. They are all ultimate PITAs. I do not know whether my partner will second my opinion. I look at them as CATALYSTS.

The best analogy of a catalyst (Catalyst aids the chemicals to react with each other without undergoing any change itself.) is a boy wanting to bypass a tied barking-canine on his way to school waiting for some adult to come by so as to move in his shadow to avoid even the sight of the dog. That’s exactly how I use the road hogs ---to cross the busy unmanned junctions! That would be it—but given a choice I would ban all the four wheelers within city limits!!

Just before I vroom again with my partners on the wheel, some smoke for cough—oops thought!

Pointers to fellow travelers, traffic department---

When there can be a sign for ‘Humps Ahead’, why not for trenches ahead! I am not being selfish —just protecting my curvaceous hips.


Is my left profile sexier than my right profile? I was just wondering because most of them insist and persist in overtaking me from my left.

Voila! After the successful overtake, they are right in front of me. But their rear doesn’t impress me at all!!

Thanks to excellent condition of the roads as my partner has done away with his entire exercise regimen because I get to shake the flab out of my partner’s body.

Let’s boogie!!!!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

What is the question????

The tone and the style of the title is same as the MTV parody---Ready for a mock?

Why should beauty be a suspect? Very profound?? Ok, what is beauty? Why is the fair skin preferred? Why is the other (see, the conditioning behind the word) skin looked down upon? By the perpetrator? As well as the ones who have the skin?

On the other hand, why is a classic man Tall, Dark & Handsome? A paradox? Maybe? Does the height really matter? Is being puny a crime? Why are they given a pass??!! Why are they made to feel that they are from planet Pluto? (Shoot it; Pluto is not even a Planet now!)

Do the height and the color really matter? Is it very uni-dimensional? But the Pundits say, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, right? Then there is no “one” beauty and can I forcibly conclude that we are all beautiful? Physically? Ufff, but what about the clichéd-deep-seated, deep-rooted and can’t-shake-it-belief and thoughts behind the eyes?


PS: Fair skinned female models are preferred for most of the modeling campaigns and then there is Lisa Ray, who holds the dubious distinction of being the shortest model at 5 feet. Am I not happy?? I am taller than her?? Physically, may be; but in character???